Stay With Me
by Crystallinee
Summary: Tired of staying hidden, Yuuki escapes from the Kuran mansion. Kaname's protectiveness has a high price, but she is ready to pay. Kaname is torn about letting his precious bird fly. Kaname/Yuki, Yume, mature themes.


**Author's note:** I love Yuuki so much and I always felt such sympathy for her constant inner turmoil, her inferior complex and her anxiety. I love the Kaname/Yuuki ship but there also some elements of it I find unhealthy. This story will be Yume, but I tried to accurately portray the imbalance of their relationship.  
Set in the first year of Kaname and Yuuki living together, before she finds out about his true identity as the ancestor.

* * *

 _And out there_

 _Living in the sun_

 _Give me one day out there_

 _All I ask is one_

 _To hold forever_

* * *

Moonlight outside. She could smell it, feel the breeze through the air, imagine the nocturnal animals waking from their slumber. Kaname was out there now, somewhere with them. She was trapped, between these safe walls of the mansion, the same house she was born in.

Yuuki rose to her feet, nightgown flowing around her lithe form, unbrushed hair like a veil around her. Feeling the thirst stir inside of her, wishing she had a single window to look out from, anything to distract her.

The restlessness had been worsening lately as Kaname had stayed away. He was busy with matters regarding the Hunter's Association and preventing the corrupt influences from ever reaching her.

He was out there working to protect her, but she couldn't suppress the restlessness almost driving her insane, waiting, worrying. Left alone with her thoughts and Seiren and Aidou as her only company and bodyguards in the enormous Kuran mansion.

Her hand brushed the gold-laced wallpaper, her beautiful and magnificent prison.

She missed sunshine, she missed the hundreds of scents that the breeze brought in, the feeling of grass underneath her feet. She yearned to walk freely by his side, enjoying the world with her heightened senses. She had never fully realized what her human life had given her, endless days in the sun, now nothing but a memory. Imagine feeling snow in her hair again, raindrops prickling her skin.

She was meant to be out there, she was meant to be a Guardian. Yet she knew that this was the path she chose.

 _If you want to leave… could you please kill me first, Yuuki?_

"Just a little more," Kaname had told her when he kissed her goodbye one morning a week ago. Still, every night she woke up alone, and every morning she went to sleep curled up alone in their bed that felt too big, too soft.

If only he could stay with her at home, this wouldn't be so hard. A basement without windows had been her whole world once. She had never minded, those few years she remembered. Never had she been alone down there, and she never knew what she missed. But that was just another part of her sinful ignorance, helplessness.

Now she was a bird used to flying free, ushered into a small cage.

The fear of being alone had followed her all life, and it was something her vampirism could not change.

 _Why are you scared?_

The fear was different now when she had been changed back to her true self; it had been more than a year since Kaname brought her home, but it took many different forms around vampires.

The uneasiness never fully subsided, unless Kaname or Zero were by her side. Without them, she felt like she was a piece of driftwood separated from her mothership, lost at sea. She was completely safe as long as she stayed inside, she knew, but it hadn't always been that way. Rido still managed to find her eleven years ago.

The young pureblood princess wandered down the empty halls of the magnificent estate, trying to distract herself. She knew Kaname could take care of himself, but she couldn't help but worry. That was another thing that put a distance between them.

She had had so many close calls in her human life, and many of them had ended with her shaking in bed at night. That time, long ago when she was alone in town and saw the child – _the level E_ , she reminded herself, the small boy who lost his human self. His red balloon had drawn her in, she was like a moth to a flame – that same red. She could never escape from it.

Red like blood, like danger, like death. The color had been the first thing she ever saw.

 _I'm scared. Vampires will eat me._

The small child inside of her was always there, echoing the voices, the child was always scared.

 _Why?_ Onii-sama had always been there for her. In her empty past and the human years at the Headmaster's house, Kaname had been her salvation.

 _Is this the kind of protection you want?_

How many times in her life had she been trembling with fear over an incident? Kaname was never afraid. He could not _understand_ her fear when he pulled her into his arms, soothing her like he would soothe a child that was too small to rely on communication. Never once had Kaname ever had to fear for his life. Zero always told her that Kaname was a beast, of the worst kind. And one day he might turn on her.

 _I was always waiting for that day to come, somehow.  
_

She could never keep even steps with him, and this was the reason for her being locked up now. Faced with him and the other purebloods, she was nothing more than a cub running around with the big predators, a kitten thinking she was a full-grown lioness. That's why he went to such extremes to keep her safe, she knew – she was still left in her five-year-old vampire self when she awakened, not even able to use her own fangs properly.

 _He still thinks I'm a child_ , she realized bitterly, a little sister he needed to protect, a sister who, although she was his fiancé, still needed so much catering. She could never hate him, no matter how her occupation drove her to the edge, knowing how much he had sacrificed, what he did for her sake.

x

Driven by a force from within that she couldn't hold back, Yuuki returned to her room. She slipped out of her nightgown that she had wore for the several past days, put on proper clothes, the clothes Kaname had picked out for her. It didn't matter if he scolded her later for this, she needed to shatter her thoughts.

As she approached the main entrance, she put on her coat and put Artemis in place. Aidou, who stayed as her personal tutor and bodyguard, immediately came up to her.

" _What_ do you think you're doing, Kuran Yuuki-sama? You are not to leave without Kaname-sama's permission."

Paying him no mind, she unlocked the heavy front doors and pushed them up.

A million scents drifted into her, telling her about the world, a thousand hidden messages, as her eyes adjusted to the dark. Freedom tingled in her mouth, filled her with a rush. Instinctively she registered the soft sound of paws from some prey animal among the trees.

Aidou followed right behind her, calling out for her in desperation. "Yuuki-sama, it's not safe!" She knew he considered using his powers to physically stop her, but she was stronger than him in the end.

"I'll be right back," she replied calmly as she stepped out of the shielding mansion. She heard her tutor loudly express his exasperation behind her, but no worries could reach her anymore. Aidou was not going to stop her. Kaname's bats were not going to stop her. He would just have to deal, this time.

"Kaname-sama will have to punish you for this!" the blond man shouted, hoping in vain the threat would make her return, but she continued walking. He trailed behind as her, complaining his disapproval. "You should study more instead! Kaname-sama will want to know your results when he returns!"

She saw the swarm of bats approaching as if on cue. They belonged to Kaname, his familiar, a part of him trying to stop her from leaving the mansion grounds. She could feel his fear, his fear of losing her. It was present in everything he did, but now she let her annoyance decide.

 _I don't want to be safe. Onii-sama is out there, so I'm going to._

The bats closed in, forming a loving yet compact shape around her, trying to keep her from moving. She quickly moved away, dodged, ran, and they shattered around her. "Sorry, Onii-sama," she mumbled.

She followed a small moonlit trail close to the mansion, listening and smelling and taking in the intense colors, the black sky, the crunching of gravel underneath her shoes. Had her parents wandered this road together once, enjoying the full moon?

The darkness was compact, comforting, silver light filtering down on her through the trees. Aidou's complaints behind her faded into nothing. Where did this trail lead? She couldn't wait to find out.

Freedom tasted sweet, it was intoxicating. She didn't want Kaname worrying, she knew he would, but it didn't matter right then. She was prepared for the consequences. She couldn't remain in a cage anymore, a naïve child kept hidden away. Straightening up she reminded herself: she was Yuuki Kuran the vampire, not Yuuki Cross, the human. She was stronger than before.

The truth had made her strong.

And if Kaname wanted her to smile from her heart, he would have to open her cage willingly and let her try to take flight.

She relaxed more as she walked. After a while she noticed a large dog following her, resembling a wolf. It trailed calmly a bit behind her, thick dark fur covering its form. Its eyes were rust-colored, aware and beautiful. She sighed.

"Thank you for keeping me company, Onii-sama."

Wasn't this what she had always wished for? Walking with him in the moonlight, like a real couple. _I promise I will be content after this, Onii-sama. If only you could come with me, in person..._ _  
_

She would never forget the first time she was outside. A lost and confused five-year-old in the snow, sinfully helpless – never having seen the sky before. In her head there was absolutely _nothing. S_ he was as unknowing as a newborn child, not even remembering what she had been kept from. Her steps felt unsure, stumbling like a foal, she had forgotten her own name. Staring at her fluffy mittens, seeing the strange crystal flakes landing on them. She wasn't used to this temperature, this humidity of the air, these noises and scents – having lived in a cellar.

There was nothing before Kaname. Nothing.

She had never seen the world at all. A lost five-year-old, whose mother and father just had disintegrated to nothing.

She was alone when she first met him as a human, completely alone. When the man with the teeth came towards her, she could do nothing but freeze in terror. His heavy steps in the crunching snow, she did not even know she was supposed to run. She remembered falling backwards, a child's pleading cry, his hand grabbing her head tightly, losing her breath, the horror –

and then, Kaname.

The murder was violent and quick, marking the start of her new life. Blood in the snow, Kaname's red eyes fixed on her as he licked the liquid from his hand that just had crushed the level E's head.

That red would follow her all her life, a constant red shadow. As well as the man she came to idolize and adore, who caught her human heart as easily as her little vampire self had loved him infinitely.

 _Why am I still afraid? I know where I come from. I know who_ _I_ _am._

She shook her head as if to get rid of the thought. The road led further away until the mansion was hidden from view behind the trees.

"Let's go back, Yuuki-sama," Aidou pushed, forcing himself to keep a polite tone. She sensed his uneasiness, no doubt from Kaname's impending reaction and retribution.

"Next time, let's go into town," she mused. "I'm dying to see some people again."

"Geez! Do you want Kaname to lock you in for good?" the blonde complained.

Yuuki turned towards him, seeing his face freeze at the unfamiliar sight of her pureblood stare. "He already has," she stated simply.

A sudden sound made her stop. Aidou tensed up.

They froze and listened for a moment. Aidou moved closer to Yuuki, his turquoise eyes scanning the surroundings as he stayed alert. The wolf who had trailed a bit behind them came closer. It stood in front of Yuuki, growling menacingly into the darkness.

She looked around, unable to detect anything unusual, as a minute passed. Relaxing slightly, she turned and walked back towards the safety of the mansion. She wouldn't make Onii-sama worry anymore.

"Hey, that's the wrong way!" the noble scolded her, gently grabbing her arm and leading her right. "Geez, you're such an airhead! What if something happens to you?"

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, still distant. The dark forest and sky suddenly felt threatening, despite the fact that she wasn't alone. She bit her lip as a wave of anger washed over her. Why did she always have to feel like this? _Useless._

A warm drop in her mouth filled her senses when she realized she had snagged her bottom lip. Aidou tensed up and glared at her, but said nothing. The wolf followed them closer than before, she heard its panting right behind her.

She withdrew from the noble's grip as she felt the minimal wound on her lip healing.

An eerie screech broke the silence and something emerged from the darkness. Yuuki turned around just in time to see something launch itself towards her, another one attacking Aidou. Several more surrounded them both.

Yuuki fell to the ground as the level E took a grip around her, her sharp claws digging into her throat. The same childish fear threatened to paralyze her, even as she instinctively reached for Artemis. Her scream was cut short by the feeling of claws at her wolf's tearing growls suddenly came closer.

She heard ice shattering when Aidou used his powers to crush her attacker before she had time to move. His own attackers had already turned to sand. Yuuki turned her head and saw the wolf viciously tearing apart another vampire, that shattered to dust a moment later.

Silence settled like a lid over them. She took a deep breath as the fear loosened its hold on her.

Aidou reached out a hand for her. "Are you alright, Yuuki-sama?"

She ignored his hand and stood up on her own. The wolf stared at her, still baring his teeth. The animal's usually brown eyes were glowing red.

Ignoring them both, she ran back towards the mansion, feeling Adiou's hurried presence right behind her, and the wolf. She didn't need to see the animal's expression to know that he would have dragged her home if she didn't immediately comply. Not that it was needed, she was desperate to get home.

The wolf stopped when she reached the door handle of the mansion. Silently it watched the area while they went inside. She quickly hurried upstairs, trying to calm the hurricane growing in her chest.

She was prepared to handle whatever punishment Kaname gave her when he returned. Now she was left with her thoughts again, the blood thirst. She wished he would storm through the door right now and confront her, punish her, show her his disappointment for being so reckless and disobedient, rather than leaving her waiting.

Entering their bedroom, she slipped out of her coat and put Artemis away. Her legs refused to support her any longer and she sank down against the wall, clenching her fist against her chest. Gritting her teeth, trying to keep the useless tears at bay.

Kaname Onii-sama was afraid to taint her, acting like his existence was a vile crime towards the _untouched purity_ she was. He couldn't have been more wrong.

Curling into a ball with her arms around her legs, her throat burning endlessly for two mens' lifeblood, selfish like a child, disobeying the man who sacrificed everything for her, she knew she was anything but pure and untouched. She was vile, she was cruel.

She was the girl who killed her own mother, the voice in the back of her head said. She was the girl who walked around for so long in ignorance of the horrors of the world, speaking of it as if she knew, yet never able to help anyone, not even herself.

She was the monster who saw all the blood vessels in Kaname Onii-sama's throat and ached to tear into them, yet could never be fully satisfied.

What was she trying to prove tonight?

x

Sometime around the hazy morning hours, she awoke by his arms lifting her from the floor and gently placing her in the bed. His scent drifted into her tired mind, provoking the violent thirst in her dry throat. Guilt racked her when she opened her eyes. She couldn't bear to meet his gaze, knowing she had let him down.

His lips touched her forehead softly as he tucked her in, then pulled her close. She reached for his neck instinctively, and he immediately bared it for her.

"Stop," she hissed. "Push me away."

He didn't move, confusion in his beautiful face. "Yuuki..."

"I don't deserve your blood, Onii-sama!" She pushed against his chest despite her instincts battling her, self-hatred burning her tongue. "Aren't you angry with me?"

His hands gripped her wrists softly, his tone calm. "You are starved for my blood. Don't deny that."

When she still refused to meet his gaze he sighed. "Let's not speak of what happened tonight right now. Look at me, Yuuki."

She shook her head.

"Yuuki." His command was stern, fingers tilting her chin upwards.

"I'm sorry that it has to be like this." He sat up and pulled her into his warm embrace. She went limp, her thirst making her dizzy and light-headed. Her fingers clenched and unclenched weakly.

"Drink," he ordered once more, pushing her head against him. She stubbornly shook her head.

She didn't see what he was doing until she smelled the overwhelming aroma of him – he had bitten himself, trying to get her to lose control.

"You need to be able to use your fangs," he reprimanded once again.

She desperately tried to back out of his strong grip, only to see him lean over and press his mouth to hers. It was impossible to escape, even without his strength, she melted in his touch. His blood flowed into her mouth and she instinctively gulped down as much as she could, her hands gripping his shoulders as her instincts took over.

She pushed him down on the bed, straddling him, and sank her fangs into his neck. He sighed, content, and stroked her hair, as if this was bringing him the utmost pleasure. She felt her strength returning, her beloved's blood caressing her insides, making them one.

When she was full and satiated, he gently laid her down in the bed again.

"Kaname onii-sama," she whispered hoarsely. He laid on top of her, burying his face against her neck. His firm and gentle hands unbuttoned his shirt and undressed himself, before starting with the buttons in her dress. She felt alive again, tears stinging in her eyes, feeling his skin so close as he slipped the dress from her body.

He thrust into her firmly, making her lose her breath as his teeth bit down on her neck. She held him in her arms, overwhelmed by the sensations of his body moving against hers, him inside her, as his teeth embedded in her skin.

This was almost enough to make her fall to his feet and fully resign herself to her fate. His smooth and lean body rocking into hers, sucking her blood, how he almost lost control of himself and gave in to his instincts.

Almost enough.

x x x

Soft rustling woke the small child from her slumber. Outside the sun was slowly rising – she had no way of knowing that, but her body followed a natural rhythm. She sensed someone standing by the edge of her bed, and she looked up to see the face of her beloved Onii-sama.

Kind, gentle eyes gazed at her, yet something was different. She rubbed her eyes and reached up her arms for him.

"Onii-sama..."

He embraced her softly and she smelled an unfamiliar scent on him, the scent of coldness. White flakes resting in his messy hair. She breathed deeply of that particular scent that was only his, and it filled her small chest with contentment. He had been _outside_.

His lips touched her forehead. "Sorry for waking you up..."

The small vampiress pulled on his sleeves gently. "Lie down with me, Onii-sama..."

Something was different, she didn't like the look in his eyes – a concerned frown on his face.

He slipped his jacket off and laid down next to her, wrapping one arm around her like he always did. She nuzzled his chest, snuggling up against him.

"Where have you been, Onii-sama?"

"I was meeting Takuma-san," he answered, playing with her tresses. "What did you do tonight?"

"I wrote in the book of Precious Things," she mumbled. "Ne, what is sunlight like? Is it warm, like Onii-sama's hands, or cold like the floor?"

She noticed the frown on his face get deeper. He stroked a few strands of hair away from her eyes, tenderly.

"It's like Yuuki," he said. "Warm and bright like you."

Content with this answer, she giggled against his chest and yawned again."I think my fangs will come soon. Then I'll be like you, Onii-sama."

His hand rested on her face gently. "It's late, Okaa-san will scold me for keeping you up."

Her small lips searched instinctively for his throat, finding the warm pulsating spot she still was too young to feed from. She licked it longingly. "Yuuki is hungry."

With a warm smile he rolled over flat on his back. She crawled on top of his chest, putting her small hands in his hair to hold him firmly. Feeding from him always seemed to make Onii-sama so happy and relaxed and nothing made her insides happier. Her mouth touched his face and he wrapped his arms around her small body as he lovingly shared his life force with her.

x x x

The memory filled her chest with fluttering warmth. Kaname had stopped moving, sleeping with her in his arms. She caressed his face gently, admiring every inch of it.

She remembered how she used to feel.

It didn't matter where they were, or who he was – he just needed to stay with her. She needed him most, only him, forever him. She would be happy staying inside if only he was with her.

She'd truthfully promised fall to the deepest depths with him, share his curse, his pain and loneliness, and she was his. For the first time he was hers, only hers, meant for her. He could be a murderer, a monster, as long as he was hers.

Her lover. Her brother. Her fiancé.

If only she could keep him from building up walls and secrets behind them, she'd be happy. She'd keep on smiling for him no matter what.

In the end, she never wanted that life that Sayori-chan and the rest of the Day Class girls were gonna have. No, her life would never take that path.

She was meant for something different. She was meant to be with him.

"I don't care what you have done, Onii-sama," she mumbled, entangling her fingers in his mahogany tresses. "Can we start over, again? I promise to wait for you... if only you let me outside now and then."

Sleepily his eyes opened, giving her the same warm rust-colored gaze she loved.

"Please, Onii-sama. It's the only way... for me to stop being scared. I need to get stronger... and I'd be happier if you could come with me."

His hand cupped her face tenderly, before he pressed their foreheads together. For a moment he seemed to debate with himself and she wondered if he was going to evade her request like usual, but something changed in his eyes.

"Yuuki... tonight I saw what happened. You're so foolishly reckless, it doesn't matter what I tell you. But I'd rather you tell me what you do than sneaking off on your own where I can't find you. In return, I won't stop you."

She remembered the wolf, snarling as he tore the attacking vampire apart.

Kaname sighed. "If you have to go, you have to. Keeping you here against your will would take away a part of the Yuuki I love." She detected his resignation and sadness – he did not like this, and he would have never considered it for anyone else.

"Why...?"

His grip around her tightened, pulling her to his strong chest. "I've already told you I'd prefer death... either yours by my hand, or mine by yours... than being apart." He said casually, looking at the ceiling, as if he wasn't discussing such a grim topic. His free hand, with all the resting strength it harbored, played with her hair like he did when they were children.

"Don't speak like that, Onii-sama."

"I am fully serious." He nuzzled her forehead, breathing her scent deeply. "So go, if you must. Just let me come with you." He placed a kiss on the top of her head.

Yuuki closed her eyes. _Maybe I can do it right this time._

"Thank you, Kaname."

* * *

 **Reviews and feedback is always loved!**


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